Beam Me Up, Scotty

You know what I love about California? Everyone has rights. Well, mostly. Okay, some. But everyone Wants them, that’s for sure. For example, I want the right to breathe my air free of cigarette smoke. After all, I only smoke at the bar, and I only go on weekends and Monday holidays.  And occasionally for midweek happy hour on a Tuesday and/or Wednesday. So I shouldn’t be forced to suck down someone else’s bad habit on a regular basis.  To guarantee me my rights, smoking is Against the Law in California. Well, not everywhere. Just inside. And within 50 feet of inside. And near outside places that serve food. And on the beach. But drinking on the beach is against the law anyway, so that doesn’t matter?

Talking on your cell phone while driving your car is also against the law. As it should be. I have the right to feel safe while traveling on the street or highway whether I am a pedestrian jay walking or a fellow driver/make up putter oner/burger eater/chain smoker (still legal in my car), so you need to put that device Down before you cause more accidents. And by down, I mean on your knee. No, not that knee--that one is for steering the car.  Or, if you’re smart, like the rest of us, you can just hold it away from your face. That’s right, officer, it’s not a Phone, it’s Star Trek Communicator. And (so far) Communicators are not against the law.

Hot, hot, hotter than Hell....

So my standing Monday walking date with my friend got cancelled because it was a hundred and sixteen fucking degrees today. What the hell? San Diego costs a fortune because we have a "temperate" climate that everyone wants to live in . I'm saying if the climate is no longer temperate, then the cost of living should go down! It was hotter here than Vegas! And THEN........my air conditioner broke.

Remember back in the day when the TV broke and your dad gave it a smack to fix it? (Maybe your parents weren't handy like that.)  Well that's how I fixed the AC.  A couple of months ago it went on the blink and started blowing air temperature air. I called the guy who installed it and he sent out his lackey. Well the lackey was a Very Nice guy and explained to me the problem. He said, Try this before you call next time to save the 65 dollar visit. But I forgot what he said to try. What I Did remember is after he said it, I said, Oh yeah, like back in the day when your dad would kick the TV and it would work!

So I was starting to flip out because it was 85 and rising in the house and over a hundred outside. My wife is like, What did he do to fix it, and my brain is melting and I can't think. And she's like, Oh let's just call them and I'm remembering how it's going to cost More this time. And I'm starting to have an anxiety attack. So she gets an ice pack and puts it on my neck. And I go outside and kick the AC.

Fixed.